ntG sPeCiaL

i dun feel like growing up.. as i getting more n more emo when grow up.. i duwan.. T.T

emO?

L-O-V-E

tis is how ouR heart beat when v see d 1 v heartx?? mayb...

~pEaCe~

tarot? to believe or not??

well.. this morning i was kinda free so i logged in to my facebook.. n i went to play the tarot.. but through d game.. u cant choose to ask bout career o wateva.. d tarot only for love.. so ma simply chose a card... tis is wat got...

審判 - 復活 (正位)

塔羅牌義
這是一張甚帶基督教的色彩。在末日的審判中，死去的人會復活，同時會被審判其罪。
愛情運勢
這一段時間裡，你們從錯誤中找到彼此相愛的方式。你會跟以前的戀人破鏡重圓。還沒有戀愛的你，愛情會得到愛情使者的祝福，產生愛的奇跡，獲得絕佳的運氣。

together wit tat card, i got the definition of tis card too.. but.. it is in chinese for sure.. i jz simply brief it in english so my susan babe can und.. since she is a banana tat alwiz claim she is pure chinese...wakakaka...

d card meaning, tis is a judgement..on d last day of judgement, d dead people will alive again.. [ghost a? die d can alive de??], n d judgement will take place.. (i dun get d meaning.. ish..), who care?? i jz wan noe d love luck ma..

so for love, during tis period, u all find d way to love each other through d mistakes u all did. u will be together back wit ur ex lover. for those who still single.. u all will get bless n there will b a miracle.. n u all gotta to get extremely GUD LUCK...

er.. together wit ex again?? i tot suppose b no turning back de?? n... din say clearly which ex also.. who noe la?? n to blif anot?? i dunno.. but i like to play tis.. hahaha.. chill~~

1st chinese blog-情绪

压抑已久的情绪
只能在无人的深夜里发泄

怨你吗？
不懂。。。想起过去只觉得心好痛
曾经的真心被践踏得一文不值
卑微地曲下膝
把心的碎片慢慢地
一片一片地拾起来
那破碎不堪的心
再也拼凑不回了。。。。
那心还能要吗？？

转身离去的你
没看见我眼角溢出的泪。。。
我紧紧地捂住嘴
不让自己哭出声。。。
眼泪模糊了视线。。。
心仍在痛吗？
为了什么在痛？
为了你的无情吗？
为了哀悼那已逝去的爱吗？
* * * *
好想你
被你伤得伤痕累累
还是学不会保护自己
还是无法对你免疫
傻傻的想念
曾经对我呵护备至
而如今却伤我最深的你
你过得好吗？
应该很好吧？
她应该能给你
我无法给你的快乐吧？
你应该已经淡忘我了。。。
对你而言
我是一个无理取闹的女生吧？
忘了我也好。。。如果这是你想要的
* * * *
我默默地
学着忽视有关你的一切
那破碎的心
会有痊愈的那一天吗？

now

i nid some1 beside me now
to listen to me now..
to accompany me now..

i wan to go seaside now

i wan to shout as loud as i can now

to release my emo now

i wan to b alone now

because i wan to wipe my tears now

duwan any1 to see i m crying now

[i m so indecisive, i hope sum1 next to me now to comfort me. but i duwan any1 to see my weak side.. oh god~ ]

*bAng WaLL*

*****

i miss the time i can cry in mummy's hug.. but now i am goin to b 20.. cant b liddat.. duwan make mummy worry n get nag from her.. so i can only endure all these on my own.. but i aint tat strong.. i nid to rely on otherS too.. i wan to go back to my childhood can?? there is no sadness.. i wont hav to think everything on my own... mum, i duwan to grow up.. can i?

emo+sick....

bored monday~

i seriously dun like monday..

it was like forcing myself to get up n go to work..

pity me >.<''

my mind was reli blur.. blank.. i dunno wat i wan.. dun ask me wat i wan.. dun ask me figure tat k?? i reli dunno wat i wan..how?? i m such indesicive rite now... stupiak, i noe i gotta put d blame on who.. jz stop to ask me make choice dn can d.. pls??

i tot time can make ppl forget but not reli.. kinda long din c d stupiak d. but still miss him like hell.. *bAng WaLL...*

y i so useless de?? i noe y la.. i nid something o sum1 to distract me but there is no.. so only i so free go think bout tat.. ish.. cis!!!

{sHoPPiNg}

tat is wat i nid now...

happy day?

Ooo… today din get to blog in office because I was kinda busy.. one of d colleagues went for holiday..she went Langkawi.. so I hav to take over her job… pity me.. nvm.. as long as she rmb getting em come choc den I will b ok de…kakakaka….

I went jusco wit my mum after I worked.. since my bro n sis had their own programme… so I “lepak” in jj wit my mum.. bring her walk here n there… den I went to PCS to get my cheque… saw pcs workers in t shirt… any sales tat goin on?? I feel miss the time I worked there.. Well.. waited for Kenneth.. n followed him go in d office to get my cheque.. is a just a RM 60 cheque.. I went twice for tat… wat the… after signed tat.. dumb Kenneth said “eh.. u better dun go counter la.. u show d face like tat.. cause my sales to drop only eh..” I was like @.@ I feel scolding wat the… d sales figure not related to tat k?? summo.. I din show any face eh.. I looked normal.. I swear~~~

Hahaha… today is my brother’s bday… n he supposed b d 1tat get present rite?? But I m d 1 get new watch.. wakakkakakaa…. Was window-shopping wit mum.. showed her d odm.. n she said not nice… den saw d casio.. den till last I showed her d Esprit watch tat I saw wit my fren d day.. she said nice…. So… hahahaa… I asked mum can I buy tat… she said she not goin pay for tat… well.. tat mean on my own expenses.. I reli like tat.. summo is purple colour inside de eh… erm.. to b o not to b… rm 399 wit 10% discount…consider for few second.. ok.. I took it… ahahhaa.. so I got new watch… den went home.. hahahaha….

my new watch~~
Well… I told my mum I wont simply buy thing again.. as I bought new handphone, notebook, watch, those clothes… I spent a lot d.. mum.. I will try to control… hahaha…
Thx mum… I love u~~

fRidAy~

today is Friday..

once n once i start to feel working is DaMMMnnn boring...

but if i stop now.. den i gotta stay at home without doin anything,

tat gotta b more bored..

how??

well.. tml is 24 of may.. my bro's bday.. although i kinda dislike him, alwiz got argue wit him.. i wonder is it v 2 cant stay peace for 1 day?? in my mind, d most also v can stay peacefuly for few hours only.. soon v gotta argue n again again repeat d routine.. wat the~~

but tis yr he is in f5.. i wonder wat kind of result he going Get for his SPM.. alwiz play truant.. see la.. i bet tat he cant get more than 3as, if he can.. i will do wateva he asks..not to say i look down on him but even my mum also k? mum say if he can score 5as den goin giv him rm1k wo... swt!! i get 9as ta time she din even giv me a cent!!! so i asking mum for tat.. who noe my mum said.. "aiyo.. u think ur bRo can get meh? dun fail den ok lo.. i noe he cant get only i say those reward de.." =.=" my mum was so 'cute'..

till last... happy bday la stupid bro.. grow up.. dun argue wit me.. faster go get ur license n b my driver.. FAST!!!!!! if u refuse to take me.. well.. i goin to pray.. to curse.. u fail ur driving test...muahahahha... [i'm evil..]

i hav been adapted to d life without u.. kinda diff.. no ppl tat will sms me 24 hours non-stop anymore.. but i think i get more freedom?? dunno how to describe.. but i can decide all that on my own.. no longer hav to ask u can i do so n so on.. i wont look back.. nvr.. dun dwell in d past.. i look forward for future~

yaya.. bought a new skirt.. later shall go try..

i mean, i bought tat without trying.. dumb rite??

nvm lo.. later after i get home i will try ..

if not nice i will take it n exchange lo....

if it is ok.. den

i goin buy a new shoe for tat..

skirt should match wit high heel..

i goin buy high heel?? lol...

i wont buy high high 1 lo..

wont same as susan..

i wont buy from vincci..hahaha...

but my skirt is somehow pink*purple colour..

my heel should b wat colour??

*shopping!!*

my whole body cells are activated again..

:+:jz for sHoPPinG:+:

mayb this weekend shall go out for tat... hahaa...

IF D SKIRT NOT NICE, NVM...

i still can go shopping to buy other clothes... ahahahha...

gals born to shop??? hahaha...

~eLeNe~

movies~~

i was kinda bored so i online n check for those upcoming movies..

i feel watching "wanted".. it is in june.. any1 wan go along?? den mayb will go for "made of honour" ...

den in july....

The X-files: I Want To Believe

The Mummy 3: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor

august:

Black Water

The Luckiest Man

den november... my fav movie~~ hahaha... HARRY POTTER.. i must go for tat... even i hav to go alone also i dun mind..

Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince

erm.. mayb i still will go for some movies tat is not listed here.. as i alwiz join n agree on my fren's suggestion.. as long as the story not too bored.. den i will go n watch de.. but i nvr go movie alone.. so.. frens.. pls do join me for those movies i hav listed here k?? muax~~

4.39pm..

well.. since i had been moody from the morning.. now there is finally something tat distract me from tat... F-O-O-D... just out of a sudden.. i feel i wan eat alot things la...

kk.. let me list out wat i wan eat k??

1. suShi... [i asked from yesterday but no1 wan go wit me.. *iSh*]
2. yu yu iCe [got fried chicken summo~~ ]
3. MCd [suddenly so miss d days i worked in pCS.. where i can wat mcd alwiz n easily...]
4. PIzzA.. [i vy long din eat d la.. hawaiian chicken flavour..garlic bread n my yummy mushroom soup...]
5. western food.. [chicken chop la.. i wan eat~~]
6. cheese baked rice o noodles... [i m crazy over cheese]
7. spaghetti.. [miss tat..]
8. steamboat.. [alamak.. last 3 weekend i also eating tis.. but y i dun feel fed up de a??]
9. baskin robbin ice cream [aboy still owe me ya.. must pay back]
10. erm.. d last a... i kinda miss d mee hun ke eh.. long tiome din eat d... ish ish ish~~

see... now my mind is all full wit food.. how can b?? yest only my mum said i fatter d.. i dun blif so i went on d weighing scale.. OMG~~ my weight increased d.. 1kg.. i jz told my mum i wan diet den... but see la now.. all food.. evil... seducing me... ish... **geramnya** but nvm la.. put d diet plan aside lo.. as u all noe.. now china gto alot victims eh.. they wan eat also no food to let dem eat lo.. den v summo say wan diet here.. isn't tat sound sarcastic to dem.. so.. i terminate d plan first.. continue tat later.. hahaha... can eat den jz go ahead~~ susan babe..wan tag along???

eAt eAt eAt~~~ yes!

continued..

ya.. i shouldn't care about u anymore.. i shall learn to neglect u.. dun let u affect my mood tat easily again.. but can i do tat???

L-O-V-E is something sweet,
L-O-V-E is something nice,
L-O-V-E is a skill tat's learned,
not pickep up on d streets.
the one who teaches how to love often leave out an important part..
they dun teach how to FORGET and tat leads to a
bRoKEN hEaRt

~eMO wannA be~

eMO

I jz tot of having a happy day.. bu i was emo from d morning.. 11.06am.. i feel damn moody.. d sky was grey.. i mean in my mind lo.. i cant see d sky from my office also...wat the... saw tis pic from my fren's log.. so i "steal" tat.. sry.. but i like tat...

i think fot those tat dunno chinese esp my susan babe.. sure din get d meaning rite?? well.. i translate to u...

"heartbroken -

i choose to leave..it is not bcoz i dun love u anymore..

choose to leave..it is not bcoz i dun care u anymore

it is jz bcoz.... d heart is broken

i nid to b [alone] to heal my pain"

emo right??ermm i gotta leave for my work.. continue my blog later..c ya~

weekend~

well.. let starts from sunday~~ early in d morning i woke up n got prepare to back to my hometown.. *yawn* i was kinda sleepy.. due to d am-tuiness n caused i cant sleep well~ so i continued sleep in d car.. well.. since my dad decided to hav breakfast in nilai.. so i got up after nap for 20 minutes.. erm,, went n ate dimsum.. yucks.. i dun like there... not nice la~~den continued my journey... but din reli able sleep well too.. so i jz sat in d car n looked at ntg lo... simply take my phone n snap pic lo..

alot trees... =.='

see d sign??

den.. managed to reach johor safely around 12pm lo... once reached there.. v go tapau d coffee...

see.... d coffee lo... tis is mine...

but... whose leg is there la... ish~~

den.. v went my aunt's hse to enjoy d coffee while waiting to hav lunch lo... den v played wit d pet dog "wawa"... haha.. "wawa" tried to drink d coffee... it seems like she likes tat... kakkaaa....den went for lunch lo..after lunch.. i became tutor n babysitter pula...hav to teach my 2 young cousins.. ish...

see... posing when he knew i wan take pic~~ alamak.. tell his mum he is not concentrate...

my cute little princess...

n see... after he finished his tuition homework~~
actually.. trip to johor vy bored.. so v skip it away k?

* * * * * * * *

today... i joined my gang again lo.. to watch narnia... erm.. bout d show... i shall not describe much..so u guys will spend rm 10 to noe the storyline.. go go go!!!! but i spend rm 11 bcoz we bought couple seats.. 4 gals.. lol~~ but it is freaking cold there.... too bad no ppl wan to giv me a warm hug..haix... we watched the 4.45pm show.. so after tat.. we went for dinner.. eat wat???? steamboat lo~~

ivan.... i only pay rm 13 for tis.. is it better than d shabu shabu??

er.. back to home den i online.. chat wit my susan babe till now. 1.25am... told her wat is the matter tat make me am tui.. den she say i alwiz wasted... wat the.. make i feel more am tui only~~ but wat to do?? i missed it.. blame tat stupid + cute fella tat make i feel so la.. haix...

i saw u today.. i passed by the mamak... i saw u laughing n talking.. r u reli happy?? i dunno y.. but i feel u r acting there...pls forget me if i gotta make u suffer.. jz dun act happy.. it is much more hurt than jz cry out... acting to smile instead of crying is kinda torturing~ i jz choose d way tat u wan.. jz choose wat is d best for us.. pls live happily..

i dunno i feel wat now?? am tui?? emo?? dunno... *bAnG wALL*

am tUi-InG

now is 2.31 am.. i supposed go to bed at tis time.. but now i m updating my latest blog... ish... i feel damn am tui la.... damn damn damn~~~ wat the... @#@$#@$%#$@%$#@%@#$%$^%$^#$^%#$@%$#@%$@# (sry if i m too rude)

y i feel tat?? well.. i think.. for my frens.. only ivan n rachel gotta noe tat~~ so ivan n rachel~~ i reli feel damn am tui~~ RELI... y now only let i noe tat la.. dun he noe tat time cant turn to d past d???? no point telling me ma..make i feel depressed over it~~ stupid~~ *U R SUCH A BIG STUPID FELLA* ... shouldn't tell me.. haix....

(rachel n ivan...eh.. u 2 dun go spread out eh.. i will kill u 2 for tat k??)

erm.. time can nvr go back.. so v must look forward... jz.. am tui-ing la... wasted... next time shall b more brave n determined enuf to do something~~ i will

* * * * * * * * *

well.. today spent some time on d photoscape~~ hahaa... edit for fren n also myself...

~me n my GAnG~

^glad to noe u all... with u all.. i noe wat is joy.. take care alwiz~~muakzz^

~mY f6 FrEn~



~pRooF of bEinG a BiO sTuDenT~
*cant see clear rite... erm.. is dissecting mice lo.. see from my frenster cmt will b clearer.. i mean if u all reli interested to see it k.. *

today... i wont say emowannabe.. bcoz i m am tui-ing..>am-tui wanna b< ??? sry lo.. my eng is bahasa rojak d... jz... i reli am tui bcoz tat... ish.. cant sleep den i sure blame on him~~~ so forgiv me for my broken english~~

ISH~~

yesterday can nvr b~

well.. i shall b workin in this time.. but again.. i "snake" to post my blog.. erm.. firstly i wan say thx to d babi ivan~~ he reli yeng.. bcoz help me customise my page lo.. hahaha...

erm.. yesterday was a moody day... n also teacher's day.. so early in d morning i get a small bouquet of flower n go to my teacaher- Mrs.teh's hse.. wanna giv her a suprise..

tis is tat small bouquet of flower...

i reli like tat flower... hahaha... well.. intro abit bout my teacher k?? she is my standard 5 n 6 teacher.. my class teacher.. she used to vy care me.. a gud teacher for me.. n till now.. we still keep in contact~~ n she alr retired last yr.. but i still feel giving her some flower as appreciation~~den i ask my mum out earlier n went to teacher's hse.. SUPRISE~~ i edi start imagine teacher's reaction.. but wat the.. reached teacher's hse n no1 was there.. i was like...wat d @@@##$#$#$@$.... so i phoned teacher...here go d conversation:

me: morning...teacher... where are u??

teacher: huh? i was outside.. in coffee shop.. having breakfast wit fren..anything?

me: (feel am tui n get bomb~~) oh.. den ntg la.. teacher.. jz.. i outside ur hse now ma... =.='

teacher: oh.. is it? anything?

me: ntg lo.. jz wan pass teacher something ma... nvm lo.. i left it in ur hse lo.. d gate din lock rite?

teacher: ya.. thx ya..

den i hang up n placed tat flower in teacher's hse.so i left in a no mood look.. wat the suprise la.. y go out for breakfast ta time?? wait for me ma~~ wateva****so i went for work n...teacher called me... say thx upon d beautiful flower...see.. i noe my taste is nice..kakakaka... (bhb again~ ss taught me to b tis)

so d emo thing is.. everything end.. all passed now.. is he choose to giv up tat easy.. not me.. jz.. i cant und.. tis is so called coward o ur self protect? jz a lil bit challenge den u giv up? ur reaction let i hav no faith in u.. so i think end also better de... u wont stress n so i feel released~~~ no worry.. i will b strong.. those tat doesn't kill me gotta make me strong~~lalalala....

well.. finally saw ivan online at nite.. asking for his help to edit my blog... thz ivan again.. he reli did a great job n let i amazed wit tat photoscape...okie dokie.. i jz downloaded it jz now.. so i goin spend my weekend on tat.. learn n edit dozens of pic.. hahahaa....

nice rite?? ya.. i admit ivan's editting skill not bad la.. but nid2 see whose pic is it ma... hahaha.. OMG~~~ i gotta b sampat again.. keep bhb~~ish~~ who care.. i m who i m.. i m proud of myself~~

*i M looKinG ForwArD my UNiveRsItY LiFe*

~emoWannAbE~

r@ndOm

well.. i can b counted as a newbie here.. bcoz b4 tis i used to blog in friendster n livespace.. y would i change to here?? no reason.. jz for fun~~

life is still so so.. everyday repeat d same routine n make i feel bored to tat.. out of a sud~~ i wish my university life can start earlier.. i duwan to stay at home anymore.. missed my school life.. miss giggling wit frens while teacher is teaching~~ *gosh,life damn bored!!*

luckily i got bunch of frens tat can hang out together~~ my sch gang.. n also those frens tat i get to noe after i worked in PCS.. especially susan..
well.. last sat manage to go out wit susan, ivan n darryl.. where happy, hau n his fren join us later... erm.. went to shabu shabu in bkt tinggi.. i jz simply suggest n they went for tat.. OMG~~ i went out wit a bunch of 'sua-ku'... ivan, susan n darryl.. u all are so so so cute~~

susan n darryl... tomyam kononnya~~ din put all d ingredients edi start to eat =.=' got taste meh??

ivan~~ dun complain bout my set.. n.. urs are pork slice la.. not chicken~~ pls~~eat d also dunno meh????

ivan n susan has alr posted d pic.. so i dun plan doin tat also lo..wan den go view their blog lo.. anyway.. out wit u all are fun~

* * * *

i wonder, love o being loved also suffer.. wat i wan is a vy simple thing.. y i cant get it?? i dun like argue.. as tat make me emo.. but y v alwiz argue? my fault? i nvr feel i wrong~
v.. how r u? i cant hide d fact i still care u.. i miss u..n tis make i guilty toward c... wat the heck~~ i dunno la...
i duwan argue.. duwan sad, duwan tears..can??
if cant den let me stay away of love... it is not fun at all~~ *NOT FUN*
mayb we sould leave d love broken rather than hurting ourselves to put it back.. y hav to force ourselves to change? y?

mayb wat mum say is correct.. find 1 tat compatible wit u will b easier to communicate.. no gap.. den i should do wise decision now??

*god pls save me k?*